GRINS WIDER THAN A MITCHELL JOHNSON STOCK-BALL

ICC World Cup Day 15 (only 27 to go....)

Swanny giving the Mitch salute

It was anticipated that with the aloof majesty of the mighty Ganges, the Cricket World Cup would roll relentlessly onward, rolling over the small teams and allowing the heavy weights to keep their chins above water until their seeding deemed them superfluous. With the matches played to date this has very much been the case but the flow has hit some interesting white-water on its journey to the Coast thus earning the tournament some much needed non-sub-continent ratings.

Because just when you thought that Ireland beating England was one of the biggest World Cup upsets of all time, along came South Africa, probably the form team of the tournament so far, who last night in Chennai (“Madras” for the over 40’s) pulled off a choke that even the Great Greg Norman would be proud off. In losing their last 7 wickets for 41 runs they collapsed faster than the Case against Berlusconi will when suitable donations have been offered to all relevant parties.

England, who are single-handedly attempting to make the warm-up group phase watchable, came back from the dead and ended up defending a paltry 171 to win by a mere six runs. As yet there are no rumours as to any possible impropriety surrounding the result however Warnie’s Tweets are currently being reviewed as we go to press.

It was also a match full of records:

·         A World Cup record of 14 players from the one country, namely South Africa (10 on the South African team and 4 on the England team).

·         Most “Morne”s in a team (2)

·         Least impressive player to ever play for England (Michael  Yardy)

·         Best fist-pumping (Me when JP Duminy was cleaned bowled by Jimmy Anderson)

·         Biggest choke in Sport history that didn’t involve either North Sydney Bears or Kevin Keegan.

"I Loved it" declared Keegan 

In other news, in the 2nd Grade pool, Australia have replaced “the Rug” with “Mr. Cricket” and are now taking a big punt that Tait and Johnson don’t have a breakdown (mental and physical respectively) over the next four weeks. Ex-Dutch star paceman Dirk Nannes has been called over from Melbourne as cover.

England’s walking ego, KP is heading home (although there has reportedly been confusion at the airport check-in as to exactly where that is, Natal or Southampton) to have a hernia OP and is being replaced by ex-Ireland star batter, Eoin Morgan.

Although Your Humble Correspondent has previously declared that the first 42 games were mere warm-ups that does not mean to say you can’t have good friendly matches... The only “real game” in the opening phase would be the Windies v. The Bangers which was played the other night. It turned out to be so one-sided the Home fans resorted to throwing in the towel to see if it could be stopped before any more damage had been inflicted. Unfortunately some of the said towels were subsequently found to be wrapped around bricks.

No change to the predictions for the last 8 being:

Ireland, Zim, Bangers, Holland, Kenya and Canada to all miss out.