WEBBER'S WHINING IS LOUDER THAN HIS CAR!

There is an interesting contrast this week between two sports and their respective interpretation of the word “team”.

In Formula 1 a team consist of two cars and two drivers who are jointly financed in their pursuits. Behind the drivers is an extended team of mechanics, engineers, technicians and so on whose collective aim is:

1.       To win the constructors World Championship and demonstrate they are the best team, and

2.       To have one of their drivers win the individual Driver’s Championship.

Given the way the points system works of you succeed in goal 1, then there is a good chance that you will achieve Goal 2 and vice versa.

The ultimate responsibility of achieving these goals rests with the Team Manager who deploys his / her resources to the betterment of the team, a significant part of which is paying vast sums of money to the Drivers who risk their lives piloting the state-of-the-art machines around the track under race conditions. This is a VERY BIG business with much at stake for all concerned.

At the British Grand Prix, Australian Red Bull driver, Mark Webber, openly ignored his team’s direct orders which were to not to try and overtake his team mate, Sebastian Vettel, in the closing stages of the race.  In making repeated attempts to pass his team mate he risked a racing incident which would have seen them both out of the race and the chances of achieving Goals 1 and 2 would have been somewhat damaged.

Webber - not happy with being a No.2

Vettel, the current World Champion, is a 24 year old protégé who will, accident permitting, have a long life in F1 and may even emulate the feats of his countryman, Michael Schumacher, and win multiple World titles. Webber is a 34 year old journeyman who has had the amazing opportunity late in his career to drive arguably the best car on the track. The problem is that Webber does not seem to realise, and to be fair his team haven’t helped by telling him directly, that he is the “domestique” of the team and that he will always be required when necessary to play second fiddle to his more able team mate.

Webber is therefore paid a lot of money to drive well and to do what he is told by the team and for him to jeopardise the success of the team, (and his and Vettel’s own safety) by ignoring team instructions beggars’ belief. One can only feel at this twilight stage of his career that he feels this may be his last chance to win a Championship and hence all loyalty and commonsense is thrown out of the window. (Although F1 cars do not actually have windows).

Webber’s elevation to World Championship points scorer over the last few years has coincided with him driving one of the best cars on the grid and hence it is not drawing a long bow to suggest that if he again disrespects the greater good of the team for his own personal ambition he could well find himself relegated down the grid to a lesser rated team next season.

Meanwhile over in France the most watched sports event on the planet is slowly (compared to F1 anyway) meandering its scenic way around the French countryside seemingly taking in every chateau, alp and tourist photo opportunity possible.

On The Tour the whole concept of “team” and the behaviours this inspires could not be more different than that displayed by Webber on Sunday.

A Team’s consist of 9 riders and one of which will always a designated team leader, (their number ends in”1”) and the rest of the team are rather dismissively known as “domestiques” or servants in the English vernacular. The Domestiques job is to do everything possible in their power to ensure that their team leader succeeds in their particular area of strength, whether that is sprinting, climbing or the general classification.

At the end of the Tour all prize money, even the winner’s cheque, is pooled between the team members and therefore there is perfect “goal alignment”, as they say in HR, so that the best outcome for the team is achieved. The winner has even been known to fore go his share of winnings for the domestiques benefit to ensure that he receives the best service possible.



"i know its broken but I can't let the team down!"



Examples of this team camaraderie and sportsmanship would make many other Sports envious and unfortunately put Webbers’ Sunday actions to even more shame:

1.       If your team leader has a “mechanical” or crashes, the other team riders will also stop so that they can pace the leader back to the peloton. They will even when needed give their bike to the team leader and wait for a replacement to arrive before they themselves continue.

2.       In the closing stages, riders such as HTC’s domestique, Mark Renshaw, will lead a train of team mates at breakneck speed at the front of the race and “bury” themselves with the sole aim of catapulting their team leader, Mark Cavendish, out into the bunch sprint at the last moment to win the stage.

3.       Domestiques will spend the day shuttling backwards and forwards between team cars and their team leader collecting and delivering equipment, drinks and food.

4.       Following a crash by the Astana team leader Alexendre Vinokourov on Sunday, his entire team leapt of their own bikes and clambered down a roadside gully in order to carry him back up the slope to the road where unfortunately his injuries were so severe he was forced to abandon the race.

5.       Subsequently In an amazing demonstration of sportsmanship, and conscious of such a bad accident, the whole field slowed and waited for the rescuers to rejoin them.

This un-selfish demonstration of team ethics and integrity in such a professional and tough sport should be universally admired and sadly display the petulant actions of Webber in a very dim light indeed.

Mark Webber would do well to tune in to Eurosport and maybe he may learn something from his many compatriots who are quietly achieving more credibility than he ever could.

RUSTY AUSTRALIA STUMBLE ON

If there were two things that Ricky P desperately needed to get out of their 4^th group game of the Cricket World Cup against Kenya in Bangalore yesterday, it was:

1.       Win toss, bat and give all the top order batsman some quality time in the middle, and

2.       Get some quality, confidence inducing bowling out of Jason Krejza



Krejza - "I'm no clown"

Well “one out of two” isn’t bad, but Krejza’s bowling, and the subsequent lack of a quality spin alternative in the squad, must be surely causing concern for the Coach and Captain. The seam bowling attack, which until now had been having significant success in the tournament, failed to fire with only Brett Lee producing a performance to be content with. The hot-and-cold Johnson and the fire-brand Tait took two wickets between them at an average economy rate of 5.5 runs per over. This is reasonable under normal circumstance but against Kenya, it looks very ordinary.

  As in previous matches, the Australian batting looked efficient against a solid and unspectacular attack and Mr. Cricket announced his arrival with a typical low profile quality innings of 54.

The next challenge for Australia is against unfancied Canada on Wednesday, again in spin-unfriendly Bangalore, and again the result should not be the issue as much the performance. It is essential again that Australia bat first and score a stack of runs but after four matches, containing 32 overs and returning only 2 wickets at 80 runs apiece, Krejza is running out of time to look the real-deal before the pressure cooker of the knock-out phase.

 Australia’s final hit-out for the quarter final seedings against Pakistan on Saturday, in Muralitharan friendly Colombo, may be Krejza’s last chance to impress pre the arrival of the business end of the tournament. If only there was a ready-made back-up at home then the unneeded Callum Ferguson could be “injured” for the benefit of the team and its tournament chances.

In other World Cup news:

1.       The admirable England is still doing their utmost to make all their games a thriller and pump-up otherwise disappointing TV ratings. Although letting the Bangladeshi 9^th wicket partnership score a 50+ run winning partnership may cause come concern for Strauss & Co.

2.       The curse of the power-play continues with India joining the list of teams who are following the inspirational England in using their batting power-play to routinely collapse and slow their run-rate......maybe a plan for Ricky.

“BOWL KREJZA IN THE POWER PLAYS....”

Still tipping the same eight to qualify for the next phase, with Group A playing out to form but Group B means taking a punt on England beating the so far impressive Windies on Thursday.

GRINS WIDER THAN A MITCHELL JOHNSON STOCK-BALL

ICC World Cup Day 15 (only 27 to go....)

Swanny giving the Mitch salute

It was anticipated that with the aloof majesty of the mighty Ganges, the Cricket World Cup would roll relentlessly onward, rolling over the small teams and allowing the heavy weights to keep their chins above water until their seeding deemed them superfluous. With the matches played to date this has very much been the case but the flow has hit some interesting white-water on its journey to the Coast thus earning the tournament some much needed non-sub-continent ratings.

Because just when you thought that Ireland beating England was one of the biggest World Cup upsets of all time, along came South Africa, probably the form team of the tournament so far, who last night in Chennai (“Madras” for the over 40’s) pulled off a choke that even the Great Greg Norman would be proud off. In losing their last 7 wickets for 41 runs they collapsed faster than the Case against Berlusconi will when suitable donations have been offered to all relevant parties.

England, who are single-handedly attempting to make the warm-up group phase watchable, came back from the dead and ended up defending a paltry 171 to win by a mere six runs. As yet there are no rumours as to any possible impropriety surrounding the result however Warnie’s Tweets are currently being reviewed as we go to press.

It was also a match full of records:

·         A World Cup record of 14 players from the one country, namely South Africa (10 on the South African team and 4 on the England team).

·         Most “Morne”s in a team (2)

·         Least impressive player to ever play for England (Michael  Yardy)

·         Best fist-pumping (Me when JP Duminy was cleaned bowled by Jimmy Anderson)

·         Biggest choke in Sport history that didn’t involve either North Sydney Bears or Kevin Keegan.

"I Loved it" declared Keegan 

In other news, in the 2nd Grade pool, Australia have replaced “the Rug” with “Mr. Cricket” and are now taking a big punt that Tait and Johnson don’t have a breakdown (mental and physical respectively) over the next four weeks. Ex-Dutch star paceman Dirk Nannes has been called over from Melbourne as cover.

England’s walking ego, KP is heading home (although there has reportedly been confusion at the airport check-in as to exactly where that is, Natal or Southampton) to have a hernia OP and is being replaced by ex-Ireland star batter, Eoin Morgan.

Although Your Humble Correspondent has previously declared that the first 42 games were mere warm-ups that does not mean to say you can’t have good friendly matches... The only “real game” in the opening phase would be the Windies v. The Bangers which was played the other night. It turned out to be so one-sided the Home fans resorted to throwing in the towel to see if it could be stopped before any more damage had been inflicted. Unfortunately some of the said towels were subsequently found to be wrapped around bricks.

No change to the predictions for the last 8 being:

Ireland, Zim, Bangers, Holland, Kenya and Canada to all miss out.

ENGLAND HUMILIATED: WOT NO INQUEST?

Why is it that when England get trounced at cricket by the O'Brien brothers and their mate who used to play for Middlesex, there are no immediate headlines re Spot-Fixing and Match-throwing??

England are somehow, inexpicably, perceived to be above such shenanigans (which coincidentally sounds very much like an Irish word) and are dismissed by all and sundry to be just crap.

It’s just not fair; please allow the merest suspicion of a betting irregularity to try and hide some of their blushes.

BREAKING NEWS - Shane Watson IS a Cheat!

The evidence supporting the revelation that Shane Watson is a cheat is compelling and is based on the logical progression of events that started in Colombo, Sri Lanka in 2006.

Shane instructs Brad - "On my wink, unleash hell"

In August of that year whilst doing a commentary for South Africa’s Ten Sports, Dean Jones (the former Australian batting star) referred to South African cricketer Hashim Amla as a “terrorist”. The overwhelming evidence for this damming indictment to a potential world audience was that based on the facts that he was both:

 a) Muslim, and

b) had a beard.

Unfortunately for Deano the educated media came out and decided that such a rash assumption based on such flimsy evidence could imply that maybe Dean was more than just a little bit racist.

Obviously the CIA, FBI, Mossad, MI5 and the ILEA immediately contacted Jones for his advance terrorist recognition techniques and it was rumoured that job offers soon followed. Unfortunately for Deano the then Australian Prime Minister and self confessed “cricket-tragic”, John Howard, came out and publicly declared without prior request, that “Dean Jones is not a Racist”. This statement was believed by the Australian public although it was based on even flimsier evidence than Deano’s original character assassination.

Accordingly Deano’s next career step was abruptly curtailed when the World’s anti-terrorist bodies decided that purely un-informed racist guesswork was not their thing (although it was further rumoured that the FBI saw this as enhancing his suitability for a senior role.)

Roll forward to March 2011 and the Australian openers Shane Watson and Brad Haddin are the subject of spot fixing rumours due to their slow run rate against the less than impressive Zimbabwe opening bowling attack and as such the “cheating finger” is currently being pointed sharply at them; funnily enough by the media of India who, coincidentally, I would imagine are both Muslims and have beards.

So where is John Howard now when he is needed (GOD! never thought I’d ever write those words) his mere silence is more than enough evidence to firmly indicate to the World that those two must be so obviously”guilty as charged” that they may as well plead guilty, pack their whites and head of to the IPL, where they will feel more at home.

All this looks very poor for Shane Watson who up until now had had a reasonably unblemished reputation for fair play and hence I break the news to the World that he is by the logical argument presented above, a cheat of the 1^st order.

And Brad? Well unfortunately this is not news at all. Learned scribes before me have well documented Haddin’s cheating capabilities when in February 2009 in a ODI against New Zealand he clearly “cheated” Neil Broom’s wicket by disturbing the stumps with his gloves and claiming the batsman were bowled. Tricky Ricky immediately claimed “victim” status for Brad claiming that calling someone a “cheat”, as Daniel Vettori had correctly done, was a much more heinous crime than actually cheating itself. (Go Ricky! Go Ricky! A career in politics beckons).

Cricket World Cup Predictions (as verified by the Don)

To demonstrate what a complete joke the cricket groups are at the World Cup, my predictions for the Final 8 are as follows. (I’ve run them past both Don King and Mark Waugh’s bookie and we are all in agreement)

 Don King - has confirmed the predictions

Group A

Australia

Pakistan

Sri Lanka

New Zealand

Group B

South Africa

England

India

West Indies

Absolutely 100% predictable by just about anybody 28 days out from when the Group stage will finish.

The elephant in the room being the role of sub-continent bookies. There will be a BIG surprise at some stage though, maybe with England beating Ireland or something.......



Bizarre Cricket Connections No.1 - Nagpur & Melbourne

The current Cricket World Cup and Shane Warne have a lot of things in common. They are not just dour, bloated and un-interesting but also given obsession like coverage by the Australian media, and in particular my good friends at Channel 9.

 Never before has a match been so pointless, aimless and of no real interest to the general public and subsequently given so much TV coverage and column inches than this! (And the Cricket World Cup is pretty un-inspiring as well.)

Whilst we are all no doubt moderately pleased that serial "boy-about-town" Warney has a new love interest the coverage given by the local media is akin to that only reserved for poor unfortunates within the Royal family. The fact that they also both seem to tweet a “blow-by-blow” account of their romance just makes it more bizarre and newsworthy for the Australian media and appalling for the rest of us.

The same media have now finally found some proper news to cover with the Christchurch earthquake and have decided to leave Warney and his erstwhile partner in sleaze, Ricky Nixon, well alone. However I expect a new "twist" in the saga from Shane & Liz soon as they will be "heaps unhappy" that their personal media circus has found a more appropriate interest. (The shame on the faces of some of those very professional reporters who had to high-tail it down from Far-North Queensland to get the exclusive with the guys delivering Warnie's new mattress. Nuala Hafner you have my deepest sympathy).

Warnie’s romance will only be remembered as the story that filled the papers between the Cyclone and the Earthquake and that it was one big hoax being played out by the protagonists for some, as yet undetermined but probably Liz’s fashion label, commercial gain. (Or was that Warne’s ex-missus commercial gain?!)

A rare photo of Shane Warne

The first month of the Cricket World Cup is no different. Too much media hype, too many superlatives being thrown around for no real reason and a generally disinterested audience. Only the games involving the home teams have had crowds exceeding the “very poor” and this tournament will not get remotely interesting until April is well within sight.

Last night the Bangers beat Ireland. Big news for the c.164m Bangladeshis on the planet, (and some spread-betting syndicates), but pretty much no-one else. Of the 42 matches held in the Group phase only 1 will be pivotal as to the composition of the last-eight, namely that between the Windies & the Bangers. The rest are simply mere warm-up games. It’s all a big money making farce (Cricket World Cup not Warney this time) and no doubt the poor people of the host nations will vote with their feet for the meaningless games played between foreign countries....my God...it’s the Commonwealth games all over again!!.....which were last held prior to India in...You guessed it, MELBOURNE.

 

Tally Ho, Toodle Pip and Off We Go!

So the marathon six week cricket world cup had finally "kicked" off with a very gentle introduction for the anointed “big boys” and some very comfortable wins over some of the lesser cricket powers. India, Sri Lanka and (my favourites) NZ have all opened with wins, so comfortable, that the TV audiences have virtually been out-numbered by those actually at the ground. Canada, the Bangers and Kenya have shown that they really are in a 2^nd tier of competitors, although the Bangers are far and away the best of the Vauxhall conference teams, and I fondly remember the day in Cardiff 2005, when they saw of the then, and now, world champions Australia.

Well what have we learned from the first two days of competition?

1.       Ricky has started repeating the team psychologist words at press conferences. “We’re not here to defend anything, we’re here to win”. Yawn, yawn, yawn.

2.       Virender Sehwag likes scoring fast...and apples grow on trees and the Liberals will win the next NSW election....

3.       Canada are rubbish

4.       Kenya are worse than Canada

5.       That absolutely none of the criticism about the last world Cup in the Windies has been taken on board re: over bloated schedules and endless one sided games for the fast few weeks

6.       That Michael Clarke is rumoured (by those serial ratings spruikers Channel 9) to be getting a ticket to the Royal Wedding. (If anyone can explain where and why this rumour came from I’d be most interested).

Tips for the next few matches,:

No surprises,

Aus to beat Zim

England to beat the Dutchies.

Pakistan to beat Kenya.

Ricky’s quote of the day

“People say we don’t have any spin depth......but we’ve got Michael Clarke”

(Memo to Ricky: MJ Bingle hasn’t taken a ODI wicket since May 2009)

Ricky Ponting : glaring at the Pap who mocked his canary yellow pants 

Cricket World Cup - More Glory for Australia?

In Australia this year they have been celebrating the 40^th anniversary of the 1^st ever one day international. A rather hastily cobbled together game between the Ashes enemies was organised in order to satisfy spectators when the majority of the MCG test that year had been washed out. Australia won that match by 5 wickets and henceforth set the trend for the next 40 years where, once the dominance of the 70 and 80’s West Indian teams had been seen off, they went on to secure a finals birth in 5 out of the last 6 World Cup tournaments and have actually won the last three on the bounce.

Now, as the cricket-world has witnessed, the crown on Australia’s cricketing dominance has slipped recently culminating in their loss in the T20 World Cup Final and their humiliation in the recent Ashes series where they lost 3 home tests by greater than an innings. The Aussie public expect, because Channel 9 tells them to,  that Australia should and will dominate all variations of the game and now  like an ageing prize fighter who has lost his heaviest and lightest belts, it will manfully try and fight back off the ropes and land one final knockout punch in order to hang on to the One-Day trophy.  But does it have the firepower?

Since the loss of the vast majority of the champion team of the 90’s and noughties they are left with the battle-weary and tactically challenged captain, Ricky Ponting, and the Bingle-weary and tactically challenged vice-captain, Michael Clarke. Both of whom are woefully out of form and fatigued from endless advertising shoots.  To add to the fragile batting line up they have a an average wicket keeper (who can bat a bit), a wide-machine (who can bat a bit), no credible spinner, a 3-in1 average bowler, opening bat, and fielder coupled with some also rans who wouldn’t have been fit to pour, yet alone carry, the drinks for Messrs Waugh, McGrath, Warne and co.

To their credit they won the recent beer match / world cup warm-up series 6-1 against England but I really do not believe anyone took much stock from that other than the great spruiker of Aussie cricket, the heavily ratings biased  Channel 9, who have immediately installed them as 2nd favorites behind the host nation, India. They have then gone and followed this apparent turnaround in form with another heavy defeat following an Ashes style batting collapse against India in a warm-up game.

So Australia has no chance?.......don’t you Adam and Eve it. They will of course go on and win the World Cup for the following reasons:

1.       Ponting and Clarke must find form soon (mustn’t they)

2.       Every now and then Mitchell will get one in-line with the stumps and take a wicket

3.       They probably have more players with IPL experience than any other country, and

4.       Jason Krezja once took a lot of wickets in a test there.....(help! I’m running out of reasons)

But the main reason Australia will win is that they simply HAVE to. T20 cricket is there for the ADD generation, Test matches are there for the purists and the good old-fashioned 50 over match is lagging in a poor third place. The country that first brought us this exciting version of the game, brought us pyjama cricket, Bill Lawry commentary snippets, the worm and Tony Grieg’s keys, will secure the trophy and return triumphant to a no-doubt ticker tape parade and the Ashes will seem like a bad distant memory. This must occur for the survival of the 50 over game as we know it.

C’mon Aussie!!

PS. If Australia don’t win it....my tip is the Kiwis, in a valiant attempt to reduce the enormous national pressure from the All-Blacks later in the year they will step in and beat the Windies in the final.

Aussie captain and vice-captain showing off their Logie medals for services to TV advertising.

What’s the issue between Cyclists and Motorists??!!

I live in a city where there is currently open warfare between those who ride bikes and those who drive cars. The reasons why a modern 1^st world city should have an issue with something the rest of the world has been very able to deal with is beyond me and despite the fact that the populous is generally well educated it seems an anachronism in this “oh-so-laid-back” country that Australia purports to me.

The main arguments put forward by the pro-motorist lobby are that:

a)      Cyclists are not taxed and registered and hence have not right to infringe the progress of those who are (i.e. they should be, for all intensive purposes, be deemed “2^nd class road citizens”, and

b)      They constantly infringe road laws which due to the fact they are not as traceable (due to the no registration mentioned above) they generally escape censure.

The bicycle lobby will parry these lunges with:

a)      The road tax does not fund road building but the vehicle registration system (general  income tax is used for infrastructure such as roads), and

b)      Motorists are on very thin ice accusing others of poor adherence to road and traffic rules (i.e. speeding , going through amber or even red lights, tail gating etc. etc.),

And will counter with the undeniable benefits of cycling:

a)      No pollution

b)      Good exercise leading to better health for the community and the lower medical expenditure necessary

c)       Sustainable renewable means of transport which does not cause the wear and tear that motor traffic does on the road surfaces.

The above are all valid opinions held by both sides of the discussion however in this city I believe that there are two main issues as to why the battlelines are so firmly drawn:

a)      Terrain. This is a hilly city and the planning mandarins and their forefathers have never made any allowance that cyclists may wish to use the roads they are creating, and as the ones designated for motorists are generally on the ridges (and the flat bits between) any alternative “cycle-friendly-route” is generally free from some cars but virtually unusable to all but Olympic standard riders due to the gradient being far too steep, and

b)      Public Transport.  Due to the incredibly poor state of the public transport around the city the general populous is enjoying a long standing love affair with the automobile to the extent that for many, public transport is either not a viable option from an availability perspective or simply they are smitten by the car so much that they would never consider commuting by any other means.

Whilst the terrain of a city cannot generally be amended something can obviously be done about Public Transport, however the very people who could do something about this, State and local politicians, are the very ones who are besotted with their lovely motor cars. Hence an impasse has arisen, compounded by the exponential growth in cyclists over the last decade, and it should hopefully appear a matter of time before the provision of better facilities garners more consideration.

These are all part of the growing pains for any city as it expands beyond its original dimensions and it will no doubt catch-up to be comparable with its national and international rivals however the real issue on the “streets” today is the underlying animosity between the two types of road user. As is often the case in social issues the matter gets hijacked by irresponsible media commentators who, for the want of ratings, will attempt to polarise the issue into black and white to the point that some feel they are mandated to openly harass the “opposition” because, someone who should know better, told them to.  It’s the herd mentality at its worst and unfortunately because one side is armed with a 2 ton metal object and the other with simply their wits it invariably means there will be only one winner. (I am unaware of a motorist dying because a cyclist crashed into a vehicle.)

The bottom line on this is cyclists do not want to be around motor vehicle as much as motorists don’t want them in their way. However until better transport facilities are available they should try as much as they can to co-exist happily and allow the agent-provocateurs of the media to find another issue to blow hot-air over.

From Hereford Town to Molineux via India

In a famous FA Cup match played in the early 1970's, lower league Hereford Town beat the then top-flight powerhouse of Newcastle United with a long range scorcher of a goal that subsequently became a symbol of what is widely termed “the magic of the FA Cup”.  For many years English Football has been home to many a varied clichés but the one most fitting, pertaining to the FA cup, is that “Every dog has its day”, implying that forgetting the form book and the current lowly league status of any given club, that it is possible for them to pull off an upset which will be remembered in club lore for many years to come.

The footage of Ronnie Radford’s amazing goal for Hereford is still used to this day by the BBC in their opening titles for their FA Cup coverage. It coveys in a 5 second clip, more succinctly than any words, the pure beauty of not just football but indeed all sport. Unfortunately for the purists, upsets of this magnitude in any sport are now increasingly less likely as greater professionalism (read: “money”) has entered the game and the gulf between the “Herefords” and “Newcastles” of this world has become wider and wider until it is nigh on untraverseable.

Going forward 20 plus years and heading to the sub-continent of India we arrive at the scandal surrounding alleged match-fixing by the then South African cricket captain Hansie Cronje and the sporting world suddenly wakes up to the now familiar phrases of “match fixing” and “betting syndicates”. Phrases which have unfortunately seamlessly entered the 21^st century’s lexicon of Sport. Whilst rumours have persisted in sport since time immemorial that “boxers will dive”,” goalies will drop” and “jockeys will ease off” it was only with the Cronje incident that the world sat-up and became fully aware of the sheer potential scale and breadth of the rumoured activities of these oh-so-powerful and shadowy betting syndicates that now theories even persist that the aforementioned Cronje and latterly the former England batsman and then Pakistan coach, Bob Woolmer, deaths may have actually had some link with these clandestine gambling activities.

Now that the spectator is fully educated to the purported activities of these syndicates, and their wide ranging tentacles of influence, every time something occurs in World Sport that could be badged with the headline “the magic of...” then the cynic immediately starts to hypothesise whether all is exactly as it seems. From floodlights failing, to huge “no-balls”, unbelievable second-half comebacks, to bizarre team selections; every time the very things occur that actually drew us to the sport in the 1st place, (or even the downright bizarre,) some step back and think “I wonder?”.

Roll forward to the present day and last night the unbeaten leaders of the Premiership, Manchester United, were beaten 2-1 by the team in last place, Wolverhampton Wanderers. By all accounts they were very worthy winners and a complacent United got what they deserved. However on the same day three Pakistani cricketers were accused of “spot-fixing” and though prima facie the two stories have no link, other than they may well share the same back page tomorrow, the tragedy is that a link does exist, even if only in the mind of the cynical reader, and even if only 1% of your brain begins to say “I wonder?” then that part of your love of Sport has died a little bit more.

The world’s love affair with sport was built on Highs and Lows, Good times interrupting seemingly endless bad times, but if for just one moment  you felt that your emotions were being consciously manipulated by another, as in the world of romance, that love will die, to the extent possibly you may never love in the same way ever again.  

The Decline & Fall

When did Liverpool become a selling club??!!!

This week Liverpool signed the paperwork which finally consigned itself to the rank of “feeder club” to the New World Order of Premiership teams by selling probably the greatest striker in the game today, Fernando Torres, to their rivals Chelsea. An act greeted by the football world with disbelief and shock.  

I grew up in the age when the benchmark was set by the team in all red, the team that my brother supported, the team that won things other English clubs weren’t even competing for...the team I should have hated.

But I didn’t. However much I wanted to dislike them and support their poorer Lancashire neighbours from Stretford, you couldn’t help yourself, because Liverpool deserved respect. Heck! They even defined the word as far as English football was concerned. They were the Yankees; they were the All Blacks, the Steelers, Carlton, Clay and Nicklaus. They had reached the space that surpassed form for they were all substance.

Then all of a sudden they stopped winning, generations of superstars left for punditry and management and the earth quietly shifted on its axis. The fans were not familiar with such a poor return and the pressure quickly mounted for a prodigal son, King Kenny tried but still the fans wanted more and the reality of where we are today in 2011 was formed off the back of a second prodigal son, one who had plans no more calculated than “open cheque book”, “grab pen”, “sign away your heritage”.

Not since the days of Malcolm Allison has such gay abandon been applied to the signing of players. When Man City went on the spree in the early 80’s it was vaunted that it would take 20 years to recover (and almost as many managers!), Liverpool are proving themselves to be the 2^nd coming of Man city for its almost 20 years since Souness took over and to this day the club has not fully recovered. Phenomenal one-off wins in the Champions League cannot disguise the sorry truth that the club of yesteryear has sunk without trace. It is hard to believe the fact that Liverpool won the European Cup when it was at its hardest to win and under the old format they wouldn’t have even played in it since that fateful May day at Heysel in the mid 1980’s.

To Liverpool fans everywhere in the world, I pay my respects to the ancestors, to Hughes, Keegan, Dalglish, Grobellar, Kennedy (both), Hansen, Whelan et al. I hope your relegation to the shadows is not permanent.  I hope to see you again feasting at the top table and proving the old adage that form is temporary but class is forever.

Introduction

Why Row Z?

Row Z is the proverbial back row of the stand (although since the advent of mega sports stadia and the incarnation of row AA this has generally ceased to be):

·         It’s where the accurate views on the display being witnessed are formed and instantly discussed by the gurus of the faction.

·         It has a better view than Row A, because at the front you are too close to the action, but obviously it is not as panoramic and glamorous as the boxes that sit on the tier above row Z but up there you lose your view of the match in aimless corporate chatter.

·         It’s the proverbial place where all defenders, irrespective of their “libero” ambitions, are instructed to pass the ball to by nervous fans in the dying seconds. Thus al fans see Row Z as a haven from a potential late calamity.

·         It’s below the press box so your view is not hindered by a paymaster with a different agenda than yours.

And finally,

·         it’s near the exit, which is very handy for access to not only to an easy retreat after a poor performance but also the pies, bars and toilets which are all needed to oil the mind in the summing-up of the passage of play.